urg, I knew there were some awkward parts, but I couldn't really get all of it to flow smoothly. hmm, maybe if we think of that part as being like that to show how the sudden interruption affected Lionel? :/ I dunno
Really though it may be just me i mean they're both good sentences and i understand what you're saying maybe it's because i havn't seen proper writing in... a couple of year ;;
--
Imagination is more important than knowledge... Albert Einstein
Story
Euphoric
Devious Comments
with a dash depressing
and some what... what's that word
the one where you want to know more about something...?
anyways
"What confused Lionel, however, was why Alexandre was holding the item. Usually the pocket watch was kept in Alexandre’s bedroom.
Lionel could not ponder on the pocket watch, however, because suddenly there was another loud noise followed by what sounded like stomping."
this part! i don't know... it may be just me
but the two however's don't let it flow well
it's like two waterfalls appearing abrubtly in one stream
other than that I think it was mighty fine ^^
--
Imagination is more important than knowledge... Albert Einstein
Bunny*Green+Blood=The Best Char Ever KamiMaki-Club
hmm, maybe if we think of that part as being like that to show how the sudden interruption affected Lionel? :/ I dunno
i mean they're both good sentences
and i understand what you're saying
maybe it's because i havn't seen proper writing in... a couple of year
--
Imagination is more important than knowledge... Albert Einstein
Bunny*Green+Blood=The Best Char Ever KamiMaki-Club
it's probably not just you and I totally didn't notice it's awkwardness.
i'm like that sometimes.
we may never stop talking about it
--
Imagination is more important than knowledge... Albert Einstein
Bunny*Green+Blood=The Best Char Ever KamiMaki-Club
ok, ok. convo ends now
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